"In comparison to the death, love is a hard thing childish, though men believe more in 'love in death. "
Mario Puzo
I have always believed in this.
could not prove it to anyone, but we thought ..
I was one of those who believed that love could topple the world.
today are not so convinced.
love has no certainties, no port security.
who believes will be denied.
love hurts, falling in love is a slow suicide.
love is misleading, makes you believe things that are not.
love you tarnish his eyes off his mind.
love is suffering a slow but steady.
sorry for the lack of poetry but love is just a shit.
or maybe I just have a shit.
but I know from experience of others, or that we are all shits or is love to be a shit.
I still love myself enough to say that we are not the shit, and just love to suck, to take us into an abyss where at the end there is only nothingness.
pessimistic little woman? no, I have always said to be realistic.
now I have only the memories and the desire for a hug, but I will not be.
I still tears.
sometimes end up but does not take much to get them back.
maybe I still have a hope, a hope which I'm holding on with all of myself.
live one hope, and when there will be more not even that?
boh.
I do not see a future, I'm tired.
tired I just feel something for someone, this someone disappears taking away a piece of my heart.
but how many pieces I have left?
maybe I sin of pride and arrogance, thinking that my life had taken a good turn, belonging to problems with work, I had everything I wanted.
down and looked at all convinced that no one was even remotely close to the happiness of which I, and I alone, I could enjoy.
little woman, for shame. did not know that it would end like this?
little woman of the problem is that dream, dream for her as long as things go well, that someone there for her.
think back to Cyrano de Guccini: "I can not stand people who do not dream"
but I did not dream who knows, only dream that someone loves me, but once again it happened that I had to love too well the real possibility of the thing.
hours thinking about what I should do, how to fill the time without constantly thinking the same thing but it's hard.
if I was the first single theme, in a sense, we now have another.
well, at least unless the people by dentists. (Bar encapsulated to most but I do not care)
in truth I lost interest in many, perhaps too many things.
and I fear that I no longer had anything to write on this blog.
maybe it was so.
if there is a god only he knows how much I hoped.
not even know what I'd hoped, I just know that my hopes were times infinity.
I do not take it anymore, you can never ever ever have to go around in shit?
but what I do wrong?
maybe I was wrong.
maybe it's just going well, maybe I do not deserve anything, maybe I can not take anything.
fact, I am convinced right now: I have nothing to offer the world, are here by mistake.
if at least did not hurt.
I have to ask for help, but I do not know who to ask.
I do not have the courage to say that for the umpteenth time, I deluded, deluded I was to be special to someone.
I am ashamed of myself, I am ashamed for being in love again.
he had hoped, he had dreamed.
I scream my anger, I would disappear.
because I am angry. I'm angry with myself for not having realized that things were not going well, I hate myself and I am disgusting for being concerned about others than he was.
but because it must always be this way?
I was not ready, I did not expect.
really, and here if you want to laugh too, because now is the only thing that makes me laugh. I laugh my deficiency.
must know that I thought this weekend was one of the best times of my life, waiting for him like a child waiting to go on rides.
really felt it was a weekend just for us and I was in seventh heaven.
indeed, was over.
after the time when time for us there was little, I dreamed.
instead what I dreamed it was a magical weekend turned out to be only a weekend of tears.
my stupidity makes me laugh.
laugh because sometimes end up crying.
not I can do.
I do not have the strength.
I always hoped that I, I who was doing great in front of those who foresaw a future black saying no, you are wrong.
is rather small woman who is mistaken.
little lady knows just mistakes and not learn anything from their mistakes.
little woman is wrong now that always has an eye on the phone nella speranza di sentirlo suonare.
ma che ci posso fare, non riesco a non sperare, non riesco ad arrendermi all'ennesima sconfitta della mia vita di merda.
chissà quando donnina imparerà a non fidarsi di nessuno, chissà quando imparerà a star bene solo con se stessa.
ma cazzo ci avevo creduto.
cosa ascolto non ve lo dico
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